you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
