nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
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Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
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A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
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