I hate your face
This is not my ceiling
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
