Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
