sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize