I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
