feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
