try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
