You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
