so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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