Swine flu is the new snow day.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
