Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Randomize