We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Randomize