wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
