my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
