her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
