and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
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