This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
