I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
