i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Randomize
