Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I just found a bag of teeth...
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
