Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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