Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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