His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
