you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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