I'm drive I can fine osifer
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Randomize
