Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize