Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
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