I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize