how can u be prego again
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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