no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
