Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize