You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
