I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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