Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
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