Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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