I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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