In the future we'll all be gay
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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