I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
