So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
