This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
