oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
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