I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
