break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Porn is love you can see.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
He passed out mid-signature
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After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
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It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
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