o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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