omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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