Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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