The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
