Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
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