I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize