her vagina looked like bernie madoff
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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