oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
did i just pee glitter
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
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