I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
