I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
