I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
