Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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