You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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