Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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