Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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