I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
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Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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